Not All We See Is True
Xianna's pov
"I'm sorry. " Tanging nasambit ko. I heard her groan at hinampas yung manibela niya ng paulit ulit. "Em, please stop. " Naiiyak ko ng saad habang pinipigilan siya. "Don't touch me! " Galit nitong saad at lumabas ng kotse niya. Dali dali akong lumabas at hinabol siya. I hug her from behind. "Please, don't be mad. " I said as tears falls from my eyes. Pilit siyang kumakawala sa yakap ko. Iniharap ko siya sa'kin and kiss her lips. She push me away and slap me. Napahinto naman ako at nakahawak lang sa pisnge ko. "I hate you... " She said at iniwan akong naka tayo sa parking lot na umiiyak. Napaupo ako. Nasaktan ko siya, nasaktan ko si Victoria at nasaktan ko ang sarili ko. Ano bang nangyayari sa'kin? "Shhh.. Don't cry. " Rinig kong saad ng kung sino at niyakap ako. I instantly smell his perfume at lumayo. "Drake! W-when did you get here? H-how long have you been here? " Sunod sunod kong tanong. "Long enough to hear everything. " He said with a soft smile. "You can't tell anyone. Please, Drake. Please..." I panicked. He rubs my back and hugs me. "Don't worry, I won't. Just cry and let it all out Xianna. I'll be here. " He said and so I did what he said. Crying my eyes out at him in the middle of the parking lot...
*~*~*~*~*
There was a knock in my door. Pag katapos ng drama ko kay Drake kahapon hinatid niya ako sa dorm ko para maka pag pahinga. Sabi niya wala daw siyang pag sasabihan na iba. I trusted him. "Yes? " Bungad ko, kakatapos ko lang maligo kaya naka robe pa ako. "Goodmorning. " She said and smirk ng makita niyang naka robe lang ako. "Goodmorning to you too, Miss Carson. " Namumula kong saad at niliitan ang siwang ng pinto para maitago ang sarili ko. "No need to hide. I already saw it. " She said and licked her lips. I roll my eyes. "Ano po ang kailangan niyo? " Magalang kong tanong. She frown. "I just want to confirm kung uuwi ka ba or dito kalang sa sembreak. " Saad nito. "Ahm.. Hindi ko pa po alam. " Sagot ko. "Okay, just let me know pag alam mo na. You know where my room is. " She said and wink bago umalis. I groan at isinarado na ang pinto ng may kumatok ulit. "Ano nanaman Vic--Naputol ang sasabihin ko nang si Emerald ang bumungad sakin. Naka bihis na siya. Naka poker face lang siya. "Morning. " She said at basta pumasok sa kwarto ko. Luminga linga muna ako bago isarado ang pinto. Nilingon ko siya she look at me bago ako hilahin at siniil ng halik. I gasp when I felt her hands untie my robe, pinigilan ko agad ang kamay niya at lumayo. "Why are you here? " Tanong ko. I know that she's still mad. "Sinusundo ka. " Sagot niya at naupo sa kama ko. "Hurry up. I don't want to be late. " Dagdag niya. "What? Bakit mo ako susunduin? " Taka kong tanong. Umaga pa at may klase pa ako kaya saan naman kami pupunta? "From now on susunduin na kita at ihahatid pauwi. Just to make sure na hindi siya makakalapit sayo. " Sagot niya, napanganga naman ako. Is she serious? "Em, that's too much. I can handle myself. " Naiirita kong saad. "Oh really? Kaya pala umagang umaga palang nag lalandian na kayo. " She said sternly. Napayuko nalang ako. "Don't you trust me? " Tanong ko. She laughs with pure sarcasm. "I don't. " Ouch! It hurts but I deserve it. "Okay. " I said defeatedly. She hum in response at lumapit sa akin para yakapin ako."I love you. " Bulong nito sa akin. I sigh. "I know. " Sagot ko at kumalas na sa yakap niya para mag bihis. Nang matapos ako ay sabay kaming lumabas. Nadaanan namin ang kitchen at kinawayan ako ng mga kaibigan kong mukang nag tataka kung bakit kasama ko si Emerald. Papasok na sana ako sa kitchen ng pigilan ako ni Emerald. "Sa cafeteria tayo mag breakfast. " Madiin nitong saad. I groan. Ngumiti ako ng pilit at kinawayan nalang ang mga kaibigan ko bago naunang lumabas kay Emerald. "Hindi na ako pwedeng sumabay sa mga kaibigan ko? What the fuck Emerald! " Galit kong saad ng nasa labas na kami ng bahay. "Don't you dare raise your voice at me! " She said. Her demeanor changed. She's not the sweet Emerald that I know. Nag iiba na siya. Her eyes no longer calm me down. I get scared when I look into her eyes. "Em, this is not you. " Saad ko. I caress her cheeks pero tinabig niya ang kamay ko. "People change when they get hurt too much Xianna. " Puno ng pait niyang saad at iniwan ako.
*~*~*~*
"I'm going out with my friends. " Pag papaalam ko kay Emerald. Andito kami sa office niya. "What time will you be back? " Tanong nito. "Ahm.. I don't know yet." "I want you to be here at exactly 11 pm Xianna. I don't want you partying until dawn. " She said sternly. I nod at her. Since of what happened in the parking lot the other day, she became more stern and strict. Yung tipong lahat dapat alam niya. Kung sinong kasama ko, kung saan ako papunta. Minsan nakakayamot na, but it's my fault for lying to her kaya tatanggapin ko itong punishment na to. "I'll get going. " I said and kiss her cheeks softly but she pull my face and kiss my lips hard. She bit my lips causing me to groan and pull away. "I love you. Don't flirt with anyone. " She said I just nod at lumabas na. Nakasalubong ko si Drake at tinawanan ako. "Nag away nanaman kayo? " Tanong nito sakin. I roll my eyes. "Hindi. " Maikli kong sagot. "Eh, bakit nakabusangot yang mukha mo? Hindi ka nanaman pinayagan ng dearest girlfriend mo? " Pang aasar niya. Hinampas ko siya sa braso. "Tumigil ka nga, sasapakin kita eh! " Pikong kong saad at aambahan na siya ng sapak ng batukan niya ako at tumakbo. "Leche ka Drake! " Saad ko at hinabol siya. Tawa lang naman siya ng tawa habang tumatakbo. Tumigil kami sa pag hahabulan ng pagalitan kami ng teacher kasi sa hallway kami tumatakbo. "I'll see you later. Mwaaah. " Drake said at nag flying kiss pa. Napailing nalang ako. Naging close kami simula nung malaman niya ang tunggol samin ni Emerald at Victoria. And I'm thankful dahil hindi niya ipinag sabi kahit kanino. Pwede ko ng sabihin ang mga hinanakit ko sa kaniya. "You two seems close. " Someone said behind me. Nilingon ko ito at nginitian. Sinabayan niya ako sa pag lalakad. "Yeah. " Maikli kong tugon. Ayokong makita kami ni Em na nag uusap. God knows what she'll do. "Is he courting you?" She asks. Her voice held bitterness in them. "No. " Sagot ko. Hinawakan niya ako kaya napatigil ako sa pag lalakad. "I don't believe you. " Saad niya. Agad akong luminga linga bago alisin ang kamay ko sa pag kakahawak niya."I don't expect you to believe me. " I said and walk away. I don't want another more drama on my plate. "Oh, anyare sa mukha mo? " I groan when I heard that question again. "Nothing! " Irita kong sagot kay Kath. Tinaas naman niya ang kamay niya na parang nahuli. "Chill, nag tatanong lang ang high blood nito. May dal--""Subukuan mong ituloy papaduguin ko talaga yang ilong mo. " Banta ko dito. Agad naman niyang itinikom ang bibig niya. Nauna akong mag lakad sa kaniya at sumunod naman siya. Papunta kami sa last period namin which is Miss Higgins class.Arrrgghhh, I'm tired. I want to go home. "Late na ba tayo? " Tanong ni Kath. Kahit kailan talaga hindi niya mapigilang wag mag salita. "Nope. " Tipid kong sagot. "Ehh, bakit nag mamadali tayo? " "Kasi ayoko malate. " Sagot ko. Mag tatanong pa sana siya kaya tiningnan ko siya ng masama. Itinikom naman agad nito ang kaniyang bibig at nag action pa na ziniper niya ito. I roll my eyes at pumasok na sa room namin. Wala pang teacher at konti palang ang mga estudyante. Ohh, well. Maaga pa naman. Binuklat ko ang libro kong binabasa at nag basa. Buti nalang at hindi na nangulit si Kath at tahimik nalang na nag cecellphone sa tabi ko. "Good afternoon everyone. " Rinig kong saad ng kakapasok lang na si Emerald. We greeted her back at naupo na. "Since we are so ahead of our lessons, I'll let you do whatever you want. But please, be quiet. I'm grading your papers. " Emerald said and everyone cheered and thank her. Itinuon ko nalang ulit sa librong binabasa ko ang atensyon ko. I really want to finish reading it. "Hey baby! " Rinig kong saad ng boses lalaki sabay akbay sa akin. Tiningnan ko naman iyon at agad tinanggal ang braso niya sa balikat ko. I roll my eyes at hindi siya pinansin. Tsk, typical jerks. "Ohhhh... Playing hard to get bro. " Rinig kong komento ng isang barkada niya. "Maybe she doesn't want you to touch her because her boyfriend will get jealous. " Saad naman ng isa pa niyang kaibigan. Umakbay nanaman sa akin ang lalaki kaya agad ko itong inalis. "Are you scared that your boyfriend Drake will find out? Don't worry, it will be our little secret. " He said and high five her friends. "Leave me alone. " Irita kong saad. They laugh. "Fiesty. I like it. " The boy said. "Don't you want to come with me and have a little sexy fun? " He said and laugh along with his friends. Gross.Perverts! "Ano bang ka--""Andrew, Collins, and Jeffrey. Get out of my class. " A voice boomed from the front bago ko pa matapos ang sasabihin ko. We look at Emerald and she looks really pissed. "Why Miss? We haven't done anything wrong. " Pangangatwiran ni Andrew. "Get out now! " She said again. Tumayo naman ang tatlo at lumabas ng room. Natahimik naman kaming lahat at bumalik sa kaniya kaniyang ginagawa. "Well, I think everybody knows that you're a slut now. " Komento ni Pamela sabay apir sa alipores niya. My blood boiled. "I'm not like you Pamela. " Saad ko at nakipag titigan sa kaniya. "Pamela, get out of my class too. " Emerald said. I look at her and she's looking at Pamela with a deadly stare. "What did I do? " Saad ni Pamela na nag mamaang maangan pa. "Using that kind of word is unacceptable. Now get out. " Tugon ni Emerald. Padabog namang lumabas si Pamela at malakas na isinarado ang pinto pag labas niya. "Meron pang gustong lumabas?" Tanong nito. Nag katinginan kaming lahat at umiling iling. She resume what's she's doing. Napatingin naman ako kay Kath. She look at me and whisper. "May dalaw si Ma'am. " Saad niya na nag patawa sa'kin. Kahit kailan puro kalokohan ang alam niya. The bell rang kaya nag labasan na kami. Palabas na kami ni Kath ng tawagin ako ni Emerald kaya pinauna ko na si Kath. Pinasarado niya ang pinto at pinalapit ako sa kaniya. "What?" Wala sa mood kong tanong. "I want you to stay away from Drake. " Walang paligoy ligoy nitong saad. "What? Why?" Taka kong tanong. "Because I said so. " Sagot niya at nag cross arms. "Emerald, you can't choose who I hang out with. This is my life and I can do whatever I want. " Saad ko. Nakakasakal na ang mga pinag gagawa niya. "Just do what I told you to do. " She said at bumalik sa ginagawa niya. Indicating na tapos na kaming mag usap. I groan. "Why do I have to do everything you say? " Irita kong saad. Alam kong nasaktan ko siya kaya nga bumabawi ako pero hindi sa ganitong paraan. Para na niya akong ginagawang puppet eh. "Because you have no choice. " Sagot nito at sumandal sa upuan niya bago mag Cross arms. "I do have a choice. " I said firmly and look directly into her eyes. "And that is what? Leaving me and be with Victoria again? Go ahead, well see if she can love you the way I do. " She said never breaking eye contact. "She can. " "Ohh, really? How can she love you if she can't even trust you?" She said and lean closer to me. I remain silent and look away. "No one can love you the way I do Xianna. Just accept it. No one wants you. " She said sending daggers into my chest. "That's not true. " Sagot ko habang pinipigilang tumulo ang luha ko. She smile sadly. "I wish It's not." The tears that I'm holding falls from my eyes. Bakit ang sakit? Bakit kailangan niya akong saktan? I feel her hug me tight and rub my back. I nuzzle my face into her neck. "Shh.. Don't cry. I will always love you. You don't need them in your life. All you need is me. I'll give you everything you want Baby. Just do what I say. Okay? " Saad niya. I slowly nod. Baka siya nga lang ang nakaka intindi sa akin. Baka siya nga lang ang kailangan ko. "Stop crying.. I love you, I love you, I love you. " She said and repeatedly kiss my head calming me. I sobbed into her neck and let all my pain out. She's right, I don't need anybody else. All I need is her...
*~*~*~*
"Drink babe! You need to cheer up. " Saad ni Claire at inabotan ako ng beer. I thank her at bumalik sa pag tulala. I don't know what to do anymore. "Are you okay? " Bulong ni Drake sa tenga ko. Medyo malakas kasi ang music dito sa bar kaya hindi kami mag karinigan.. "Yeah. I'm fine. " Sagot ko at nginitian siya ng pilit. Sinimangutan niya naman ako. "I don't believe you. But I know that you'll tell me as soon as you are ready. " He said. I smile at him too. He's so understanding. Bumalik na siya sa pakikipag sayaw sa girlfriend niyang si Sabrina. I watch them have fun. Lumabas muna ako ng bar para mag pahangin. I don't want to be in there, makaka sira lang ako ng kasayahan nila. I sigh and lean on the wall outside. "That's deep. " Napalingon ako sa nag salita. She smile at me at nag lahad ng kamay. "I'm Peach.." She said. She's pretty, mas matangkad siya sa akin. Mga kaheight ni Victoria. I Shook my head ng maalala ko nanaman siya. She doesn't want me. I need to forget about her. "Xianna. " I said and shake her hands na kanina pang nakahawak sa kamay ko. She smile."Are you here alone? " Tanong nito sa akin. Umiling ako. "I'm with my friends, nasa loob sila. " Sagot ko. She nod at sinindhan ang sigarilyo niya."Do you smoke?" She ask at binigyan ako ng sigarilyo pero umiling ako. Ininom ko nalang yung kanina ko pang hawak na beer. "Are you alone? " Tanong ko naman sa kaniya she smile. "Nope, I'm with someone. " Sagot niya at sakto dumating na yung hinihintay niya. I froze on where I'm standing ng makilala ko ang babaeng katabi ni Peach. "What are you doing here Miss Patterson? " She asks, raising her eyebrows at me. Kita kong nilagyan niya ng jacket si Peach. Wow, she's moving on faster than I expected. Well, I can't blame her. I'm nobody compared to anyone. "It's none of your business Miss Carson. Excuse me. " Saad ko at pumasok na agad sa bar. Haish! Sa dami dami ba naman ng pwede kong makita bakit si Victoria pa. Pag kabalik ko ay tinungga ko yung beer na hawak ko at pag kaubos ay kumuha ulit ako ng panibago. Walang tao sa table namin dahil nag sasayaw sila kaya walang pipigil sa akin which is a good thing because I want to waste my life away. I keep on drinking and drinking until someone grab the bottle from me."Hey! " Sita ko sa walang hiyang umagaw sa iniinom ko. She look at me in disbelief and I laugh, hindi ko siya pinansin at pumunta sa dance floor para mag sayaw. I keep on dancing. A man held my waist at bumulong. "Do you want to go somewhere private? " He said. I Shook my head and push him away from me at nakipag sayaw sa iba, the second guy is really pervert, his hands roam to my body kaya agad akong lumayo sa kaniya. "Let's get out of here. " He said at hinawakan ang kamay ko. Hindi ko namalayang sumunod pala ito sa akin. Inalis ko naman ang kamay niya at iniwan siya sa dance floor pero sadyang makulit ang lahi niya at hinihigit parin niya ako. "Ayoko nga! " Galit kong saad. He smirk. "You'll like it, I promise. I'll keep you satisfied. " He said perversely. "Let me go! " Saad ko habang hinihigit ang braso ko sa kaniya. He only smirk at me. "Don't play so hard to get. " He said. "The woman said to let her go so let her go or else I'm gonna cut your penis off and feed it to you! " I heard someone say angrily. Bigla namang bumitaw yung lalaki sakin at sinamaan ng tingin yung babae. I spin around and faced the woman she look at me with an irritated look. "Tingnan mo nga kung anong mga pinag gagagawa mo? Do you want to be in that situation again!? " Galit nitong saad but I only smile at inilagay ang kamay ko sa leeg niya. Pulling her in a tight embrace. "I miss you, I love you. I wish you are real. " Wala sa sarili kong saad sa kaharap ko at mas hinigpitan ang yakap sa kaniya. "I need you... " Huli kong saad before everything went black.
"I'm sorry. " Tanging nasambit ko. I heard her groan at hinampas yung manibela niya ng paulit ulit. "Em, please stop. " Naiiyak ko ng saad habang pinipigilan siya. "Don't touch me! " Galit nitong saad at lumabas ng kotse niya. Dali dali akong lumabas at hinabol siya. I hug her from behind. "Please, don't be mad. " I said as tears falls from my eyes. Pilit siyang kumakawala sa yakap ko. Iniharap ko siya sa'kin and kiss her lips. She push me away and slap me. Napahinto naman ako at nakahawak lang sa pisnge ko. "I hate you... " She said at iniwan akong naka tayo sa parking lot na umiiyak. Napaupo ako. Nasaktan ko siya, nasaktan ko si Victoria at nasaktan ko ang sarili ko. Ano bang nangyayari sa'kin? "Shhh.. Don't cry. " Rinig kong saad ng kung sino at niyakap ako. I instantly smell his perfume at lumayo. "Drake! W-when did you get here? H-how long have you been here? " Sunod sunod kong tanong. "Long enough to hear everything. " He said with a soft smile. "You can't tell anyone. Please, Drake. Please..." I panicked. He rubs my back and hugs me. "Don't worry, I won't. Just cry and let it all out Xianna. I'll be here. " He said and so I did what he said. Crying my eyes out at him in the middle of the parking lot...
*~*~*~*~*
There was a knock in my door. Pag katapos ng drama ko kay Drake kahapon hinatid niya ako sa dorm ko para maka pag pahinga. Sabi niya wala daw siyang pag sasabihan na iba. I trusted him. "Yes? " Bungad ko, kakatapos ko lang maligo kaya naka robe pa ako. "Goodmorning. " She said and smirk ng makita niyang naka robe lang ako. "Goodmorning to you too, Miss Carson. " Namumula kong saad at niliitan ang siwang ng pinto para maitago ang sarili ko. "No need to hide. I already saw it. " She said and licked her lips. I roll my eyes. "Ano po ang kailangan niyo? " Magalang kong tanong. She frown. "I just want to confirm kung uuwi ka ba or dito kalang sa sembreak. " Saad nito. "Ahm.. Hindi ko pa po alam. " Sagot ko. "Okay, just let me know pag alam mo na. You know where my room is. " She said and wink bago umalis. I groan at isinarado na ang pinto ng may kumatok ulit. "Ano nanaman Vic--Naputol ang sasabihin ko nang si Emerald ang bumungad sakin. Naka bihis na siya. Naka poker face lang siya. "Morning. " She said at basta pumasok sa kwarto ko. Luminga linga muna ako bago isarado ang pinto. Nilingon ko siya she look at me bago ako hilahin at siniil ng halik. I gasp when I felt her hands untie my robe, pinigilan ko agad ang kamay niya at lumayo. "Why are you here? " Tanong ko. I know that she's still mad. "Sinusundo ka. " Sagot niya at naupo sa kama ko. "Hurry up. I don't want to be late. " Dagdag niya. "What? Bakit mo ako susunduin? " Taka kong tanong. Umaga pa at may klase pa ako kaya saan naman kami pupunta? "From now on susunduin na kita at ihahatid pauwi. Just to make sure na hindi siya makakalapit sayo. " Sagot niya, napanganga naman ako. Is she serious? "Em, that's too much. I can handle myself. " Naiirita kong saad. "Oh really? Kaya pala umagang umaga palang nag lalandian na kayo. " She said sternly. Napayuko nalang ako. "Don't you trust me? " Tanong ko. She laughs with pure sarcasm. "I don't. " Ouch! It hurts but I deserve it. "Okay. " I said defeatedly. She hum in response at lumapit sa akin para yakapin ako."I love you. " Bulong nito sa akin. I sigh. "I know. " Sagot ko at kumalas na sa yakap niya para mag bihis. Nang matapos ako ay sabay kaming lumabas. Nadaanan namin ang kitchen at kinawayan ako ng mga kaibigan kong mukang nag tataka kung bakit kasama ko si Emerald. Papasok na sana ako sa kitchen ng pigilan ako ni Emerald. "Sa cafeteria tayo mag breakfast. " Madiin nitong saad. I groan. Ngumiti ako ng pilit at kinawayan nalang ang mga kaibigan ko bago naunang lumabas kay Emerald. "Hindi na ako pwedeng sumabay sa mga kaibigan ko? What the fuck Emerald! " Galit kong saad ng nasa labas na kami ng bahay. "Don't you dare raise your voice at me! " She said. Her demeanor changed. She's not the sweet Emerald that I know. Nag iiba na siya. Her eyes no longer calm me down. I get scared when I look into her eyes. "Em, this is not you. " Saad ko. I caress her cheeks pero tinabig niya ang kamay ko. "People change when they get hurt too much Xianna. " Puno ng pait niyang saad at iniwan ako.
*~*~*~*
"I'm going out with my friends. " Pag papaalam ko kay Emerald. Andito kami sa office niya. "What time will you be back? " Tanong nito. "Ahm.. I don't know yet." "I want you to be here at exactly 11 pm Xianna. I don't want you partying until dawn. " She said sternly. I nod at her. Since of what happened in the parking lot the other day, she became more stern and strict. Yung tipong lahat dapat alam niya. Kung sinong kasama ko, kung saan ako papunta. Minsan nakakayamot na, but it's my fault for lying to her kaya tatanggapin ko itong punishment na to. "I'll get going. " I said and kiss her cheeks softly but she pull my face and kiss my lips hard. She bit my lips causing me to groan and pull away. "I love you. Don't flirt with anyone. " She said I just nod at lumabas na. Nakasalubong ko si Drake at tinawanan ako. "Nag away nanaman kayo? " Tanong nito sakin. I roll my eyes. "Hindi. " Maikli kong sagot. "Eh, bakit nakabusangot yang mukha mo? Hindi ka nanaman pinayagan ng dearest girlfriend mo? " Pang aasar niya. Hinampas ko siya sa braso. "Tumigil ka nga, sasapakin kita eh! " Pikong kong saad at aambahan na siya ng sapak ng batukan niya ako at tumakbo. "Leche ka Drake! " Saad ko at hinabol siya. Tawa lang naman siya ng tawa habang tumatakbo. Tumigil kami sa pag hahabulan ng pagalitan kami ng teacher kasi sa hallway kami tumatakbo. "I'll see you later. Mwaaah. " Drake said at nag flying kiss pa. Napailing nalang ako. Naging close kami simula nung malaman niya ang tunggol samin ni Emerald at Victoria. And I'm thankful dahil hindi niya ipinag sabi kahit kanino. Pwede ko ng sabihin ang mga hinanakit ko sa kaniya. "You two seems close. " Someone said behind me. Nilingon ko ito at nginitian. Sinabayan niya ako sa pag lalakad. "Yeah. " Maikli kong tugon. Ayokong makita kami ni Em na nag uusap. God knows what she'll do. "Is he courting you?" She asks. Her voice held bitterness in them. "No. " Sagot ko. Hinawakan niya ako kaya napatigil ako sa pag lalakad. "I don't believe you. " Saad niya. Agad akong luminga linga bago alisin ang kamay ko sa pag kakahawak niya."I don't expect you to believe me. " I said and walk away. I don't want another more drama on my plate. "Oh, anyare sa mukha mo? " I groan when I heard that question again. "Nothing! " Irita kong sagot kay Kath. Tinaas naman niya ang kamay niya na parang nahuli. "Chill, nag tatanong lang ang high blood nito. May dal--""Subukuan mong ituloy papaduguin ko talaga yang ilong mo. " Banta ko dito. Agad naman niyang itinikom ang bibig niya. Nauna akong mag lakad sa kaniya at sumunod naman siya. Papunta kami sa last period namin which is Miss Higgins class.Arrrgghhh, I'm tired. I want to go home. "Late na ba tayo? " Tanong ni Kath. Kahit kailan talaga hindi niya mapigilang wag mag salita. "Nope. " Tipid kong sagot. "Ehh, bakit nag mamadali tayo? " "Kasi ayoko malate. " Sagot ko. Mag tatanong pa sana siya kaya tiningnan ko siya ng masama. Itinikom naman agad nito ang kaniyang bibig at nag action pa na ziniper niya ito. I roll my eyes at pumasok na sa room namin. Wala pang teacher at konti palang ang mga estudyante. Ohh, well. Maaga pa naman. Binuklat ko ang libro kong binabasa at nag basa. Buti nalang at hindi na nangulit si Kath at tahimik nalang na nag cecellphone sa tabi ko. "Good afternoon everyone. " Rinig kong saad ng kakapasok lang na si Emerald. We greeted her back at naupo na. "Since we are so ahead of our lessons, I'll let you do whatever you want. But please, be quiet. I'm grading your papers. " Emerald said and everyone cheered and thank her. Itinuon ko nalang ulit sa librong binabasa ko ang atensyon ko. I really want to finish reading it. "Hey baby! " Rinig kong saad ng boses lalaki sabay akbay sa akin. Tiningnan ko naman iyon at agad tinanggal ang braso niya sa balikat ko. I roll my eyes at hindi siya pinansin. Tsk, typical jerks. "Ohhhh... Playing hard to get bro. " Rinig kong komento ng isang barkada niya. "Maybe she doesn't want you to touch her because her boyfriend will get jealous. " Saad naman ng isa pa niyang kaibigan. Umakbay nanaman sa akin ang lalaki kaya agad ko itong inalis. "Are you scared that your boyfriend Drake will find out? Don't worry, it will be our little secret. " He said and high five her friends. "Leave me alone. " Irita kong saad. They laugh. "Fiesty. I like it. " The boy said. "Don't you want to come with me and have a little sexy fun? " He said and laugh along with his friends. Gross.Perverts! "Ano bang ka--""Andrew, Collins, and Jeffrey. Get out of my class. " A voice boomed from the front bago ko pa matapos ang sasabihin ko. We look at Emerald and she looks really pissed. "Why Miss? We haven't done anything wrong. " Pangangatwiran ni Andrew. "Get out now! " She said again. Tumayo naman ang tatlo at lumabas ng room. Natahimik naman kaming lahat at bumalik sa kaniya kaniyang ginagawa. "Well, I think everybody knows that you're a slut now. " Komento ni Pamela sabay apir sa alipores niya. My blood boiled. "I'm not like you Pamela. " Saad ko at nakipag titigan sa kaniya. "Pamela, get out of my class too. " Emerald said. I look at her and she's looking at Pamela with a deadly stare. "What did I do? " Saad ni Pamela na nag mamaang maangan pa. "Using that kind of word is unacceptable. Now get out. " Tugon ni Emerald. Padabog namang lumabas si Pamela at malakas na isinarado ang pinto pag labas niya. "Meron pang gustong lumabas?" Tanong nito. Nag katinginan kaming lahat at umiling iling. She resume what's she's doing. Napatingin naman ako kay Kath. She look at me and whisper. "May dalaw si Ma'am. " Saad niya na nag patawa sa'kin. Kahit kailan puro kalokohan ang alam niya. The bell rang kaya nag labasan na kami. Palabas na kami ni Kath ng tawagin ako ni Emerald kaya pinauna ko na si Kath. Pinasarado niya ang pinto at pinalapit ako sa kaniya. "What?" Wala sa mood kong tanong. "I want you to stay away from Drake. " Walang paligoy ligoy nitong saad. "What? Why?" Taka kong tanong. "Because I said so. " Sagot niya at nag cross arms. "Emerald, you can't choose who I hang out with. This is my life and I can do whatever I want. " Saad ko. Nakakasakal na ang mga pinag gagawa niya. "Just do what I told you to do. " She said at bumalik sa ginagawa niya. Indicating na tapos na kaming mag usap. I groan. "Why do I have to do everything you say? " Irita kong saad. Alam kong nasaktan ko siya kaya nga bumabawi ako pero hindi sa ganitong paraan. Para na niya akong ginagawang puppet eh. "Because you have no choice. " Sagot nito at sumandal sa upuan niya bago mag Cross arms. "I do have a choice. " I said firmly and look directly into her eyes. "And that is what? Leaving me and be with Victoria again? Go ahead, well see if she can love you the way I do. " She said never breaking eye contact. "She can. " "Ohh, really? How can she love you if she can't even trust you?" She said and lean closer to me. I remain silent and look away. "No one can love you the way I do Xianna. Just accept it. No one wants you. " She said sending daggers into my chest. "That's not true. " Sagot ko habang pinipigilang tumulo ang luha ko. She smile sadly. "I wish It's not." The tears that I'm holding falls from my eyes. Bakit ang sakit? Bakit kailangan niya akong saktan? I feel her hug me tight and rub my back. I nuzzle my face into her neck. "Shh.. Don't cry. I will always love you. You don't need them in your life. All you need is me. I'll give you everything you want Baby. Just do what I say. Okay? " Saad niya. I slowly nod. Baka siya nga lang ang nakaka intindi sa akin. Baka siya nga lang ang kailangan ko. "Stop crying.. I love you, I love you, I love you. " She said and repeatedly kiss my head calming me. I sobbed into her neck and let all my pain out. She's right, I don't need anybody else. All I need is her...
*~*~*~*
"Drink babe! You need to cheer up. " Saad ni Claire at inabotan ako ng beer. I thank her at bumalik sa pag tulala. I don't know what to do anymore. "Are you okay? " Bulong ni Drake sa tenga ko. Medyo malakas kasi ang music dito sa bar kaya hindi kami mag karinigan.. "Yeah. I'm fine. " Sagot ko at nginitian siya ng pilit. Sinimangutan niya naman ako. "I don't believe you. But I know that you'll tell me as soon as you are ready. " He said. I smile at him too. He's so understanding. Bumalik na siya sa pakikipag sayaw sa girlfriend niyang si Sabrina. I watch them have fun. Lumabas muna ako ng bar para mag pahangin. I don't want to be in there, makaka sira lang ako ng kasayahan nila. I sigh and lean on the wall outside. "That's deep. " Napalingon ako sa nag salita. She smile at me at nag lahad ng kamay. "I'm Peach.." She said. She's pretty, mas matangkad siya sa akin. Mga kaheight ni Victoria. I Shook my head ng maalala ko nanaman siya. She doesn't want me. I need to forget about her. "Xianna. " I said and shake her hands na kanina pang nakahawak sa kamay ko. She smile."Are you here alone? " Tanong nito sa akin. Umiling ako. "I'm with my friends, nasa loob sila. " Sagot ko. She nod at sinindhan ang sigarilyo niya."Do you smoke?" She ask at binigyan ako ng sigarilyo pero umiling ako. Ininom ko nalang yung kanina ko pang hawak na beer. "Are you alone? " Tanong ko naman sa kaniya she smile. "Nope, I'm with someone. " Sagot niya at sakto dumating na yung hinihintay niya. I froze on where I'm standing ng makilala ko ang babaeng katabi ni Peach. "What are you doing here Miss Patterson? " She asks, raising her eyebrows at me. Kita kong nilagyan niya ng jacket si Peach. Wow, she's moving on faster than I expected. Well, I can't blame her. I'm nobody compared to anyone. "It's none of your business Miss Carson. Excuse me. " Saad ko at pumasok na agad sa bar. Haish! Sa dami dami ba naman ng pwede kong makita bakit si Victoria pa. Pag kabalik ko ay tinungga ko yung beer na hawak ko at pag kaubos ay kumuha ulit ako ng panibago. Walang tao sa table namin dahil nag sasayaw sila kaya walang pipigil sa akin which is a good thing because I want to waste my life away. I keep on drinking and drinking until someone grab the bottle from me."Hey! " Sita ko sa walang hiyang umagaw sa iniinom ko. She look at me in disbelief and I laugh, hindi ko siya pinansin at pumunta sa dance floor para mag sayaw. I keep on dancing. A man held my waist at bumulong. "Do you want to go somewhere private? " He said. I Shook my head and push him away from me at nakipag sayaw sa iba, the second guy is really pervert, his hands roam to my body kaya agad akong lumayo sa kaniya. "Let's get out of here. " He said at hinawakan ang kamay ko. Hindi ko namalayang sumunod pala ito sa akin. Inalis ko naman ang kamay niya at iniwan siya sa dance floor pero sadyang makulit ang lahi niya at hinihigit parin niya ako. "Ayoko nga! " Galit kong saad. He smirk. "You'll like it, I promise. I'll keep you satisfied. " He said perversely. "Let me go! " Saad ko habang hinihigit ang braso ko sa kaniya. He only smirk at me. "Don't play so hard to get. " He said. "The woman said to let her go so let her go or else I'm gonna cut your penis off and feed it to you! " I heard someone say angrily. Bigla namang bumitaw yung lalaki sakin at sinamaan ng tingin yung babae. I spin around and faced the woman she look at me with an irritated look. "Tingnan mo nga kung anong mga pinag gagagawa mo? Do you want to be in that situation again!? " Galit nitong saad but I only smile at inilagay ang kamay ko sa leeg niya. Pulling her in a tight embrace. "I miss you, I love you. I wish you are real. " Wala sa sarili kong saad sa kaharap ko at mas hinigpitan ang yakap sa kaniya. "I need you... " Huli kong saad before everything went black.
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