Ye
Debut or Die - 223
The car was as quiet as a dead mouse.No, sometimes I could hear Kim RaeBin sobbing and gasping for breath.Even those who would have comforted him in more normal situations with words like "You'll be fine" somehow drove silently or patted him gently on the back.Because we were in a very anxious situation to act as we normally would.— Yes, hyung... Yes, you have to come "at this time of the morning". We are moving right now, so please wait nearby ASAP.After telling the story to the barely awake manager, I abruptly hung up the phone.Do you think he is in a position to complain about going out "at this time of the morning"? This is not the time to reclaim the balance between personal life and work hours, you fucking bastard.— ...What have I been doing after hearing the news?I haven't been able to do shit.I've just been thinking.It will take us more than three hours to reach Gangwon province, where RaeBin's house is located."We may be too late."... Suppose we had left Seoul just before traveling for our vacation.The transfer time would have been shortened by more than an hour and a half.An hour and a half apart.I can't... help but make that calculation."Shit."The guy sitting across from me is probably thinking the same thing.RaeBin still can't let go of his phone. He is afraid of becoming unconscious and not responding in case he receives a call.In fact, he's also not in the best shape to make a call...— ...He is overwhelmed."Stop."It's kind of funny. It's not a situation where I can't help, but I unnecessarily immerse myself so much in it that in the end I can't offer much help.I laughed at myself, leaned my head against the window and decided to keep quiet.I didn't want to cause any more trouble.Thus three hours passed in the car, time in which I was about to lose consciousness.Just after passing the final toll booth on the expressway to reach our destination, Ryu CheongWoo spoke in the calmest tone possible.— We will arrive in thirty minutes.— ...Bae Sejin had trouble talking to RaeBin.— ...Change your clothes.— ...RaeBin, who had been stiff with tension and worry for far too long, slowly began to change his shirt.Taking off his clothes, which he was about to finish drying, he spilled some salt and sand on the floor.And RaeBin, dressed in new clothes, did not move as if he was under a spell, and soon began to shed tears.— I... I-I asked them to do a TM to no avail... and now it's too late...— No, it's not like that.I answered him unintentionally, without having thought about it.Now he had to find a plausible reason, but there was no time to add explanations.Because someone else intervened.— That's right! It's my fault!—...!— I told you first that we travel. Is it RaeBin's fault? Nope!Cha YooJin spoke up bravely, but he too was on the verge of tears.RaeBin answered in a hoarse voice.— N-no! We-we planned the MT together... We-we even decided on the place...— Think about that later.I intervened and cut off his words.— Think about it later, for now just focus on seeing your grandmother.— ...RaeBin barely nodded.I shouldn't think about that right now. That's true.I know from experience.He soon finished the GPS navigation of the car.— Let's go.— ... Yes.RaeBin staggered out of the car and headed to the hospital.The rest of us followed him as far as we could tag along.It meant that we had to sit in the waiting chairs by the hospital corridor and wait for him to come out.— ...— Aigo, my mom...In front of the hospital room, people who seemed to be relatives and medical personnel came and went, but of course, we pretended to know or sat without speaking.However, looking at the atmosphere, fortunately... it didn't seem like it was too late.I don't know if I should call this good luck or a relief.When I saw the sun shimmer through the window...— MoonDae-ya.— ...— Park MoonDae, why don't you go to the car and lie down for a while?— I don't want to, but Ryu CheongWoo... hyung should go.Does it make sense that the driver who has not slept all morning is still awake?The most correct thing would be for him to go to sleep.But he shook his head.— I'm not so tired.— Yes, me neither.— ...The brief conversation ended there. The other members no longer spoke about going to rest and continued to wait in silence.And after a while, RaeBin stumbled out with a pale face and informed us of the situation.— RaeBin-ah.— Is she okay?— Y-yes... Grandma... she talked to me. She... now she is sleeping...That indicates that we have overcome the crisis."Haah."It is curious that the tension in my body seems to be disappearing.Well, it means... it wasn't too late for RaeBin.Still, seeing his expression, I sensed something.He doesn't have a look of relief,"...There will be difficulties in the future."Perhaps this is the worst vacation for Kim RaeBin.
* * *
We reported the situation to the agency staff who were a little late, and the members who had a home to return, returned.This is because Kim RaeBin's noona, who left the hospital room late, kindly recommended him.— Thank you very much for bringing RaeBin home.— No, it's something normal that we would do...— I heard that you are on vacation... Thank you very much for joining us on your valuable days off. I hope they return safely to their homes.It was a reasonable statement because she must have regretted not being in a situation where she could care and attend to unknown people.It was a great honor to be here with these guys, who only had once or twice a year to spend time with their families.However, Cha YooJin adamantly refused to return as he said that he would still have to return to the apartment we live in together.— Don't worry, I can't go home! I stay here.— YooJin-ah...Thanks to the life he had when he trained at his old agency, he seemed to be accepted anyway since he knew RaeBin's family very well.But leaving YooJin alone... I just couldn't do it."He is not the kind of person who totally cares for others."RaeBin's noona probably had to take care of this boy.Also, it would be ridiculously funny if one of the people who would only stay in the lodging would leave the other here and be one of the member hyungs on top of that.That's why I decided to stay.I don't have a problem staying either. Anyway, I was going to stay in the dorm during this vacation.After some hesitation and relief, we moved into RaeBin's house thanks to an agreement we reached after insisting with his noona and grandfather.And in the process, I was able to hear a proper explanation of the situation through a conversation with RaeBin's noona.— The doctors said that they will monitor her condition for a few more days and will take her to the operating room if circumstances allow it...— ...But the probability is not very high.— Still, instead of listening to me and blindly believing... I think RaeBin will have to prepare his mind in advance.I couldn't be crazy enough to ask what illness his grandmother had.Although, because I overheard some of his relatives' conversations as they walked back and forth in the hallway, I understood that it must be a problem with his pituitary gland.And this is what RaeBin told us when we got home, he relaxed and cried.— I-I just found out that she was hospitalized...she didn't want me to worry while she was working in Seoul. She asked them not to notify me...—...— I-I didn't know about that... I-I didn't even care to know... because I'm stupid...— No! You are not stupid.— No! Yes I am stupid! To-today... I was the only one who couldn't recover. I can't do anything right...— You've done quite well.I interrupted Kim Raebin.— You did a good job. You met your grandmother and did everything you could. No one is good at handling these kinds of situations.— ...Raebin shrugged.And I... I had the strange feeling that my words worked."It's true."Who could be good at this kind of thing?This is good enough.I got up, opened the fridge and took out an ionized drink, with his noona's prior permission.And I handed it to the boy who was obviously not hydrated, and after confirming that he was drinking, I spoke slowly.— I'm sorry... I pressed you to get in the car. You have tried very hard.— I-it wasn't like that...! Thanks to you, I was able to arrive on time...Actually, nothing would have happened if we were late, but he must have a psychological problem.And I realized that this psychological problem would continue."...It will be difficult no matter how things go."I can imagine what the conversations between the agency and this guy will be like when our vacation is over.— Let's eat something yummy, Kim RaeBin! Delivery!— De-delivery...? I'll order something.— Alright, do it!RaeBin, who had regained his normal tone when replying to YooJin, ordered a food delivery, but didn't eat much.The holidays were spent maintaining the usual environment and waiting for an emergency call from the hospital.Until... the difficult moment arrived.
* * *
The morning of the last day of vacation arrived.— My grandmother is going to have surgery.Kim RaeBin was contacted by his noona this morning and spoke quite calmly even though he was holding his phone upside down.— Talk while you eat.— Here's your seat, Kim RaeBin!— I know, it's my house! What if...! Noona said that my grandmother's condition has improved and she can have an operation!This meant that there was a chance of recovery.Although it also... indicated that there was a greater chance that the operation would not be successful.I don't know.Should she light a candle and make a wish or shake back to reality the guy who is trying to think hopefully?So I mentioned a real problem instead.The "hard" problem I've been thinking about since the first day of vacation.— Have you thought about staying to take care of your grandmother?— What...?— You know, our vacation ends today.I put the spoon in the bowl.— We have to be back early tomorrow.—...!!— I'm not sure if it's okay to go back to Seoul... I'll have to think about it carefully....If he returns to work in Seoul, he may not be able to accompany her grandmother in her last days in case the operation goes wrong and her life deteriorates rapidly.I remembered the conversation I had with RaeBin when his grandmother collapsed for the first time, in the middle of our promotions after debuting.— I-in case I don't find out too late... but I'm in the middle of filming a show... I don't know if it would be okay to cancel my performance and go. But if I go... I would lack professionalism.Is it family or work?It's a damned time when a choice must be made.It is not for a moment, but for the full 4 weeks to see the progress of the operation."This situation is rubbish."It's obviously similar to the one he experienced back then, but there's something I have to say.— Like I said before, it's fine if you don't come back for a while. We all want to live well, you don't have to risk suffering.— ... That's right. It's okay!— Don't worry. I will persuade the company.YooJin knew how to give a prop. He has been good at understanding the mood these days.And actually, when I said this, I thought RaeBin would close his eyes tight and yell, "I'm so sorry, but I'll do it."But it was not like that.— E-even so... I know I'll suffer...—...!— Ke-keep in mind... w-we'll be working on a major full-length album, and I haven't finished a single song yet... I'm working on the title track...Of course, he had dreams and responsibilities.— Without being in the music video, choreography, presentation... If I don't contribute anything...RaeBin is a member dedicated to music production. So, he influences TeSTAR's musicality a lot.He quickly realized that if he disappeared, the identity of the group would be completely damaged.— If my grandmother doesn't die and recovers... what I do will be, no, t-that's not what I want.— Yes, I understand.I stopped talking to him.That's how it is. If his grandmother recovers without any problems, he might regret taking a break for no reason.He will regret it so much that he will disappoint himself."...I think I'm being too biased."He was making a mistake as his situation was too much in line with my past experience.I tapped a finger on the table."The best thing would be to delay the release of the album for a month or two." But that would make things difficult for me.It could affect the tour schedule quite a bit and that would cause me problems trying to remove my status abnormality."This is driving me crazy."And at that moment...— Do both!—...!!Cha Yoojin yelled.— We have many good manners! Phone and... hmmm.— Speak in English.— Certain! I can speak in English, right?YooJin's eyes lit up and he banged on the table.— We are in an era where we have email, video calls and even video conferences! Tell Kim RaeBin to work on the songs here! We will take care of the other elements!—...!It's surprisingly reasonable. I opened my mouth immediately.— Cha YooJin said that you should work remotely and produce the songs from here.— Work from home??— From what I've heard, I think it would be fine.Sure enough, RaeBin's complexion immediately improved.— W-well, I've heard that too! So besides the song, everything else...I intertwined my hands.My mind started to work smoothly after a few days.— We will do this. The choreography will have two versions just in case, one with you and one without you.— What??— I like it!— And the same for the filming of the music video, first we will film our individual cuts and finally the group cuts. We will try to postpone the shooting date as much as possible— Wow!— We have to postpone the release date as long as we can and, in case you can't join in time, the version will be completed without you.Rae Bin's jaw dropped.— ...I-I'm sorry.— What are you sorry for? The bad thing is that the longer you take to join the second half of the month, it means that you will suffer being alone more.I asked.— Do you still want to do it?— ... Yes!Great.RaeBin nodded enthusiastically.Although he looked quite strong and animated, he soon started rubbing his eyes.He seemed to be overwhelmed for various reasons.— Okay, let's do our best.— Yes...I added more words.— And if it doesn't work, you can leave it in the middle of the process.— Of course! It's not Kim RaeBin's fault.That's right. In this way, four weeks began in which the rabbit tried to catch up both in work and in his family.
The car was as quiet as a dead mouse.No, sometimes I could hear Kim RaeBin sobbing and gasping for breath.Even those who would have comforted him in more normal situations with words like "You'll be fine" somehow drove silently or patted him gently on the back.Because we were in a very anxious situation to act as we normally would.— Yes, hyung... Yes, you have to come "at this time of the morning". We are moving right now, so please wait nearby ASAP.After telling the story to the barely awake manager, I abruptly hung up the phone.Do you think he is in a position to complain about going out "at this time of the morning"? This is not the time to reclaim the balance between personal life and work hours, you fucking bastard.— ...What have I been doing after hearing the news?I haven't been able to do shit.I've just been thinking.It will take us more than three hours to reach Gangwon province, where RaeBin's house is located."We may be too late."... Suppose we had left Seoul just before traveling for our vacation.The transfer time would have been shortened by more than an hour and a half.An hour and a half apart.I can't... help but make that calculation."Shit."The guy sitting across from me is probably thinking the same thing.RaeBin still can't let go of his phone. He is afraid of becoming unconscious and not responding in case he receives a call.In fact, he's also not in the best shape to make a call...— ...He is overwhelmed."Stop."It's kind of funny. It's not a situation where I can't help, but I unnecessarily immerse myself so much in it that in the end I can't offer much help.I laughed at myself, leaned my head against the window and decided to keep quiet.I didn't want to cause any more trouble.Thus three hours passed in the car, time in which I was about to lose consciousness.Just after passing the final toll booth on the expressway to reach our destination, Ryu CheongWoo spoke in the calmest tone possible.— We will arrive in thirty minutes.— ...Bae Sejin had trouble talking to RaeBin.— ...Change your clothes.— ...RaeBin, who had been stiff with tension and worry for far too long, slowly began to change his shirt.Taking off his clothes, which he was about to finish drying, he spilled some salt and sand on the floor.And RaeBin, dressed in new clothes, did not move as if he was under a spell, and soon began to shed tears.— I... I-I asked them to do a TM to no avail... and now it's too late...— No, it's not like that.I answered him unintentionally, without having thought about it.Now he had to find a plausible reason, but there was no time to add explanations.Because someone else intervened.— That's right! It's my fault!—...!— I told you first that we travel. Is it RaeBin's fault? Nope!Cha YooJin spoke up bravely, but he too was on the verge of tears.RaeBin answered in a hoarse voice.— N-no! We-we planned the MT together... We-we even decided on the place...— Think about that later.I intervened and cut off his words.— Think about it later, for now just focus on seeing your grandmother.— ...RaeBin barely nodded.I shouldn't think about that right now. That's true.I know from experience.He soon finished the GPS navigation of the car.— Let's go.— ... Yes.RaeBin staggered out of the car and headed to the hospital.The rest of us followed him as far as we could tag along.It meant that we had to sit in the waiting chairs by the hospital corridor and wait for him to come out.— ...— Aigo, my mom...In front of the hospital room, people who seemed to be relatives and medical personnel came and went, but of course, we pretended to know or sat without speaking.However, looking at the atmosphere, fortunately... it didn't seem like it was too late.I don't know if I should call this good luck or a relief.When I saw the sun shimmer through the window...— MoonDae-ya.— ...— Park MoonDae, why don't you go to the car and lie down for a while?— I don't want to, but Ryu CheongWoo... hyung should go.Does it make sense that the driver who has not slept all morning is still awake?The most correct thing would be for him to go to sleep.But he shook his head.— I'm not so tired.— Yes, me neither.— ...The brief conversation ended there. The other members no longer spoke about going to rest and continued to wait in silence.And after a while, RaeBin stumbled out with a pale face and informed us of the situation.— RaeBin-ah.— Is she okay?— Y-yes... Grandma... she talked to me. She... now she is sleeping...That indicates that we have overcome the crisis."Haah."It is curious that the tension in my body seems to be disappearing.Well, it means... it wasn't too late for RaeBin.Still, seeing his expression, I sensed something.He doesn't have a look of relief,"...There will be difficulties in the future."Perhaps this is the worst vacation for Kim RaeBin.
* * *
We reported the situation to the agency staff who were a little late, and the members who had a home to return, returned.This is because Kim RaeBin's noona, who left the hospital room late, kindly recommended him.— Thank you very much for bringing RaeBin home.— No, it's something normal that we would do...— I heard that you are on vacation... Thank you very much for joining us on your valuable days off. I hope they return safely to their homes.It was a reasonable statement because she must have regretted not being in a situation where she could care and attend to unknown people.It was a great honor to be here with these guys, who only had once or twice a year to spend time with their families.However, Cha YooJin adamantly refused to return as he said that he would still have to return to the apartment we live in together.— Don't worry, I can't go home! I stay here.— YooJin-ah...Thanks to the life he had when he trained at his old agency, he seemed to be accepted anyway since he knew RaeBin's family very well.But leaving YooJin alone... I just couldn't do it."He is not the kind of person who totally cares for others."RaeBin's noona probably had to take care of this boy.Also, it would be ridiculously funny if one of the people who would only stay in the lodging would leave the other here and be one of the member hyungs on top of that.That's why I decided to stay.I don't have a problem staying either. Anyway, I was going to stay in the dorm during this vacation.After some hesitation and relief, we moved into RaeBin's house thanks to an agreement we reached after insisting with his noona and grandfather.And in the process, I was able to hear a proper explanation of the situation through a conversation with RaeBin's noona.— The doctors said that they will monitor her condition for a few more days and will take her to the operating room if circumstances allow it...— ...But the probability is not very high.— Still, instead of listening to me and blindly believing... I think RaeBin will have to prepare his mind in advance.I couldn't be crazy enough to ask what illness his grandmother had.Although, because I overheard some of his relatives' conversations as they walked back and forth in the hallway, I understood that it must be a problem with his pituitary gland.And this is what RaeBin told us when we got home, he relaxed and cried.— I-I just found out that she was hospitalized...she didn't want me to worry while she was working in Seoul. She asked them not to notify me...—...— I-I didn't know about that... I-I didn't even care to know... because I'm stupid...— No! You are not stupid.— No! Yes I am stupid! To-today... I was the only one who couldn't recover. I can't do anything right...— You've done quite well.I interrupted Kim Raebin.— You did a good job. You met your grandmother and did everything you could. No one is good at handling these kinds of situations.— ...Raebin shrugged.And I... I had the strange feeling that my words worked."It's true."Who could be good at this kind of thing?This is good enough.I got up, opened the fridge and took out an ionized drink, with his noona's prior permission.And I handed it to the boy who was obviously not hydrated, and after confirming that he was drinking, I spoke slowly.— I'm sorry... I pressed you to get in the car. You have tried very hard.— I-it wasn't like that...! Thanks to you, I was able to arrive on time...Actually, nothing would have happened if we were late, but he must have a psychological problem.And I realized that this psychological problem would continue."...It will be difficult no matter how things go."I can imagine what the conversations between the agency and this guy will be like when our vacation is over.— Let's eat something yummy, Kim RaeBin! Delivery!— De-delivery...? I'll order something.— Alright, do it!RaeBin, who had regained his normal tone when replying to YooJin, ordered a food delivery, but didn't eat much.The holidays were spent maintaining the usual environment and waiting for an emergency call from the hospital.Until... the difficult moment arrived.
* * *
The morning of the last day of vacation arrived.— My grandmother is going to have surgery.Kim RaeBin was contacted by his noona this morning and spoke quite calmly even though he was holding his phone upside down.— Talk while you eat.— Here's your seat, Kim RaeBin!— I know, it's my house! What if...! Noona said that my grandmother's condition has improved and she can have an operation!This meant that there was a chance of recovery.Although it also... indicated that there was a greater chance that the operation would not be successful.I don't know.Should she light a candle and make a wish or shake back to reality the guy who is trying to think hopefully?So I mentioned a real problem instead.The "hard" problem I've been thinking about since the first day of vacation.— Have you thought about staying to take care of your grandmother?— What...?— You know, our vacation ends today.I put the spoon in the bowl.— We have to be back early tomorrow.—...!!— I'm not sure if it's okay to go back to Seoul... I'll have to think about it carefully....If he returns to work in Seoul, he may not be able to accompany her grandmother in her last days in case the operation goes wrong and her life deteriorates rapidly.I remembered the conversation I had with RaeBin when his grandmother collapsed for the first time, in the middle of our promotions after debuting.— I-in case I don't find out too late... but I'm in the middle of filming a show... I don't know if it would be okay to cancel my performance and go. But if I go... I would lack professionalism.Is it family or work?It's a damned time when a choice must be made.It is not for a moment, but for the full 4 weeks to see the progress of the operation."This situation is rubbish."It's obviously similar to the one he experienced back then, but there's something I have to say.— Like I said before, it's fine if you don't come back for a while. We all want to live well, you don't have to risk suffering.— ... That's right. It's okay!— Don't worry. I will persuade the company.YooJin knew how to give a prop. He has been good at understanding the mood these days.And actually, when I said this, I thought RaeBin would close his eyes tight and yell, "I'm so sorry, but I'll do it."But it was not like that.— E-even so... I know I'll suffer...—...!— Ke-keep in mind... w-we'll be working on a major full-length album, and I haven't finished a single song yet... I'm working on the title track...Of course, he had dreams and responsibilities.— Without being in the music video, choreography, presentation... If I don't contribute anything...RaeBin is a member dedicated to music production. So, he influences TeSTAR's musicality a lot.He quickly realized that if he disappeared, the identity of the group would be completely damaged.— If my grandmother doesn't die and recovers... what I do will be, no, t-that's not what I want.— Yes, I understand.I stopped talking to him.That's how it is. If his grandmother recovers without any problems, he might regret taking a break for no reason.He will regret it so much that he will disappoint himself."...I think I'm being too biased."He was making a mistake as his situation was too much in line with my past experience.I tapped a finger on the table."The best thing would be to delay the release of the album for a month or two." But that would make things difficult for me.It could affect the tour schedule quite a bit and that would cause me problems trying to remove my status abnormality."This is driving me crazy."And at that moment...— Do both!—...!!Cha Yoojin yelled.— We have many good manners! Phone and... hmmm.— Speak in English.— Certain! I can speak in English, right?YooJin's eyes lit up and he banged on the table.— We are in an era where we have email, video calls and even video conferences! Tell Kim RaeBin to work on the songs here! We will take care of the other elements!—...!It's surprisingly reasonable. I opened my mouth immediately.— Cha YooJin said that you should work remotely and produce the songs from here.— Work from home??— From what I've heard, I think it would be fine.Sure enough, RaeBin's complexion immediately improved.— W-well, I've heard that too! So besides the song, everything else...I intertwined my hands.My mind started to work smoothly after a few days.— We will do this. The choreography will have two versions just in case, one with you and one without you.— What??— I like it!— And the same for the filming of the music video, first we will film our individual cuts and finally the group cuts. We will try to postpone the shooting date as much as possible— Wow!— We have to postpone the release date as long as we can and, in case you can't join in time, the version will be completed without you.Rae Bin's jaw dropped.— ...I-I'm sorry.— What are you sorry for? The bad thing is that the longer you take to join the second half of the month, it means that you will suffer being alone more.I asked.— Do you still want to do it?— ... Yes!Great.RaeBin nodded enthusiastically.Although he looked quite strong and animated, he soon started rubbing his eyes.He seemed to be overwhelmed for various reasons.— Okay, let's do our best.— Yes...I added more words.— And if it doesn't work, you can leave it in the middle of the process.— Of course! It's not Kim RaeBin's fault.That's right. In this way, four weeks began in which the rabbit tried to catch up both in work and in his family.
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: LoveTruyen.Me